Episode 3 · August 18, 2026
Never Live the Same Year Twice — with Julian Essolakina
with Julian Essolakina, Traveler, reader, and corporate professional
36 min
Never Live the Same Year Twice — with Julian Essolakina
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In this episode
In this conversation I sit down with my friend Julian Essolakina, whose journey has carried him from Togo in West Africa, to Paris, to Washington D.C., and — of all places — to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Julian lives by a simple rule: he tries not to live the same year twice. What emerges as we talk is a portrait of a man who is genuinely more comfortable when he's uncomfortable, who treats each unfamiliar city, language, and stranger as an invitation to learn something new about the world and about himself.
We spend a good deal of time on the power of contrast — how so much of our perspective on life comes from the juxtaposition of difference, and how many of us quietly arrange our lives to avoid it. We stay with the familiar, in the same mindsets and the same boxes, and we wonder why things feel flat. Julian's answer is to lean in: less planning, more doing; skip the advertised cities, sit at a stranger's table, read the classics, and let your true self show — right down to how you dress.
Underneath it all runs a question I keep returning to: what happens to the soul when we stop expanding? When there's no margin left for magic, and life becomes a checklist? Julian and I talk about the death of the soul that can happen long before the body dies, and about the quiet decision to stay open — to failure, to surprise, to the possibility of you.
Key takeaways
- Seek out contrast on purpose. Much of our perspective and growth comes from the juxtaposition of difference — new cultures, new people, new mindsets — yet most of us arrange our lives to avoid it.
- Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Learning anything new means tolerating a season of feeling inadequate and awkward; the courage to work through that is where discovery lives.
- Travel with less planning and more doing. Skip the advertised destinations, go where you can sit at a local's table, and you'll leave richer for the encounter.
- Engage the people around you. Real curiosity about others' stories — on a plane, in an airport, in line — turns strangers into game-changing relationships and reminds us how much we share.
- Work from the inside out. Your true self can be expressed in small, everyday ways — even in how you dress — when your sense of identity is firmly established and celebrated.
- Leave margin for magic. The best of life happens in the margins, not in a schedule packed so tightly there's no room to stumble onto something new.
- Reframe failure. It simply means you tried something a certain way and didn't get the outcome you expected — and often what you didn't expect turns out greater than what you planned.
Chapters
- —Never live the same year twice
- —From Togo to Paris to Washington, D.C.
- —The power of juxtaposition and contrast
- —Comfortable being uncomfortable
- —Reading the classics and living intentionally
- —Fashion as expression of the true self
- —Finding home in Tulsa
- —The case for travel — less planning, more doing
- —Engaging strangers and collecting stories
- —The O.A.S.I.S. method and the possibility of you
- —Leaving room for magic in the margins
- —Falling in love with failing
“I try not to live the same year twice.”
“I'm much more comfortable when I am uncomfortable — I always leave room for some magic to happen.”
“The magic happens in the margins. So leave margins.”
“When you give, you give from a place of filled — from abundance, not deprivation.”
About Julian
Traveler, reader, and corporate professional
Originally from Togo in West Africa, Julian grew up between Togo and Paris before settling in the United States, including time in Washington, D.C. and Tulsa, Oklahoma. A lifelong learner, avid reader of philosophy, and dedicated traveler, he lives by the practice of never repeating the same year twice.
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